Kowhai Triathlon Stories

We have been writing about Kowhai Hub triathlon. We are learning that clever writers add detail to their stories to help make a picture for the reader. We started our writing on Monday and only wrote about before the race. On Tuesday we added more detail and then started writing about during or in the race. On Wednesday we added more detail and wrote about after the race. Detail makes our stories more interesting to read.

We know clever writers re-read to check their story makes sense, think about what comes next and to add more detail.

Author Keagan wrote:

I was excited at the triathlon. First, we put our togs on and we put our towel on our shoulders. Then, we walked out to the field and we sat down with the Kowhai Hub. The weather was chilly. Suddenly, Miss Anderson said, “Year two girls stand at the starting line.” Mrs England said, “On your marks, get set, GO!” I leapt on my scooter. I was second in the scooter race because I passed all of the guys. When I jumped into the pool it was chilly but I tried and tried and I got to the end of the pool. Then, I jumped out of the pool and I started running. I was fourth at the end of the running. Mrs Little took us to get our clothes on in the classroom. Then, she took us to the field to watch the other Kowhai Hub race.

Author Rebekah wrote:

My heart was thumping like an elephant stomping in the jungle because I was really worried that I was going to lose the triathlon. I was really bored sitting on the grass because we just had to watch the race before our turn. Miss Anderson called out and I jumped on my scooter and zoomed around the courts. I dropped my scooter and sprinted around the old field and then I jumped in the pool. I leapt into the icy water like a leopard and ran to the end of the pool. I hopped out of the pool and zoomed like lightening to the finish line. I felt very happy because I thought that I would lose but I didn’t!

Author Dom wrote:

First, we got changed into our togs and put our towels around our shoulders. Then, we went to the field. I felt scared because there were a lot of people watching around the scootering. First, I scootered on the netball courts as fast as my dad’s motorbike. Next, I dropped the scooter on the grass and ran to the pool. Then, I swam to the other side of the pool. Lastly, I ran to the finish line. I felt happy because I did my personal best!

Author Balin wrote:

Before the race I was excited because I thought I would win my race. The pool looked freezing. I was nervous because I thought I would turn into an ice block when I dived into the pool. We walked to the field with Mrs Ramsay. I was in the first race so we had to follow Mrs England. Miss Anderson called the year two boys up to have a race. Some people were saying, “Go Balin, go Balin.” I was happy. My friends were too and that made me super happy. When I was running I was sprinting like lightening. After the race Mrs McCourt took us back to the classroom to get changed. Then, we went back to the field to see all the other Kowhai children. I wondered if we would have another race. I was surprised I won. I was proud of myself because I tried my best.